I just made out with a guy for $7.
my mouth tastes like poor choices
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
