Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
where does the pee come out of this thing
Just invented taco cereal.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
