See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
