also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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