u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
