I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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