the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
