funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
