it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
It was confusing and full of hummus
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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