My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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