no you cant smoke seaweed
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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