made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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