whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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