Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
