He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
