You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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