she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Fuck appropriateness.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
