Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
