Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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