Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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