I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
