Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Terrible idea I love it
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
