at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
