im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
