I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
