Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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