I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
