big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
