wake up i wanna do it froggy style
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
