i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Randomize
