Don't you send me to vm
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
