Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
