This is not my ceiling
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
