why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
