the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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