Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
