Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Randomize
