Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Randomize