I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize