we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
