She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize