I think my vagina is haunted
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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