Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
