vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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