I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
