Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
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