dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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