dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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