Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
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