On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I just googled if crying burns calories
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
