pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Betty ford says i'm here all night
I smell stomach acid.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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