I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
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