When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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