I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
