Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
