I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
well you can't waste a boner
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
