In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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