Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
