Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
