Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
