Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
