What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
